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Today's Family: Is Obeying God Worth it?
Does it matter whether we take God and His Instructions seriously?
by David Treybig
What's in for me?
When somebody asks us or tells us to do something, we naturally want to know what
we can expect and how we will benefit from a particular course of action.
We might ask ourselves how this applies on a spiritual level. What's in it for us
if we decide to obey God's instructions in the Bible?
This is an important question when it comes to sex, marriage and religion. Of course,
these questions are not new. People have been asking them for a long time.
More than 2,500 years ago the prophet Ezekiel noted that his own people were saying
that "the way of the Lord is not fair" (Ezekiel 33:17,20). Just as in our day, people
didn't like being told what to do--even by their Creator. Paradoxically, many would
rather choose their own way than follow the path that produces the greatest happiness.
Many people see God's instructions to avoid premarital sex, adultery and divorce
(1Thessalonians 4:3; Exodus 20:14; Malachi 2:16; Matthew 19:3-9) as hopelessly outdated.
Conventional wisdom claims sex is no problem as long as it takes place between consenting
adults and as long as the participants take precautions against venereal disease
and pregnancy.
As for religion, some of the same people view it as unnecessary as long as one strives
to be a good person.
This highly subjective approach tempts some to describe God's way as simply one of
many equally valid ways of life. But is it?
In recent years researchers have tried to discover the underlying principles that
lead to successful family relationships. This kind of examination is something God
Himself approves. Concerning one biblical principle, God says, "Bring the whole tithe
into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now
in this, if I will not open for you the windows of heaven, and pour out for you a
blessing until it overflows" (Malachi 3:10, New American Standard Bible, emphasis
added throughout).
Notice this helpful tip: God recommends proving His way by doing it. Why? So we can
immediately realize the benefits of obedience without paying penalties for disobedience.
What are the results of research into family relationships?
Concerning divorce, "A 1989 American Demographics report stated, 'Many studies show
that broken marriages create stress, resulting in weight changes, stomach upset,
fatigue, appetite loss, headaches, nervousness, nightmares, difficulty in sleeping,
and tension. No wonder divorced men and women are more likely than the married to
suffer from chronic conditions, acute illnesses, and injuries' " (Current Thoughts
and Trends review of Focus on the Family, September 1994, "Believe Well,
Live Well," Marianne Hering).
A happy marriage brings more benefits than divorce. Too bad that not everyone is
willing to follow the Bible principles that avoid divorce and promote happy marriages.
What about attending church? A Heritage Foundation study concluded: "Churchgoers
have lower rates of depression, alcohol/drug abuse and criminal activity. Frequent
worshippers have longer, happier marriages. Religious women even have better sex
lives than agnostics. Regular church attendance reduces a person's blood pressure
by 5 millimeters--enough to reduce the mortality rate by 20 percent . . . Among black
teenage girls, religious practice sharply reduces the rate of premarital sex and
pregnancy" (Current Thoughts and Trends review of Dallas Morning News,
"Religion Is Good for Your Health," Maggie Gallagher, Feb. 12, 1996).
A University of Nevada study reported that "black men in prison come almost exclusively
from one group--those who never went to church or who stopped going at about age
10" (ibid.)
This line of research confirms that God's way really is best. The Bible long ago
said as much. Speaking to ancient Israel, God imparted some valuable advice: "I
call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you
life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your
descendants may live" (Deuteronomy 30:19). In contrast, Proverbs 14:12 adds, "There
is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death."
What about premarital sex and living together before marriage? "Statistics demonstrate
that cohabiting couples are 33 percent more likely to divorce than couples who don't
live together before marriage. Women who are virgins when they marry are far less
likely to divorce than women who are not" (Current Thoughts and Trends
review of U.S. News and World Report, May 19, 1997, "Was It Good for
Us?," David Whitman).
Two University of Wisconsin - Madison sociologists came to a similar conclusion after
analyzing the cohabitation and marriage patterns of 13,000 adults. ". . . Couples
who live together before marriage experience higher levels of marital conflict and
do not communicate as well. Such couples were less committed to marriage and saw
divorce as more likely than those who had not cohabited prior to marriage (Current
Thoughts and Trends review of Journal of Marriage and the Family, Vol.
54, 1992).
With such positive support for God's instructions for families, it is puzzling why
so many disdain the teachings of the Bible. David Larson, a senior researcher with
the National Institute of Mental Health, admitted: "I actually believed the evidence
would indicate religion was harmful, but I found almost no empirical data supporting
the idea" (Current Thoughts and Trends review of "Holy Health!," Christopher
Hall, Christianity Today, Nov. 23, 1992).
Mr. Larson explained that studying the effects of religion on health is considered
academically incorrect unless the study purports to show harmful effects of practicing
religion. In a personal survey of evidence reported by prestigious psychiatric journals,
he found that "in over 80 percent of the cases reported in the journals religion
was beneficial to the patient." He also found that "religion also plays a preventive
role as well as a curative one. Out of 20 different alcoholism studies, all but one
found that religious commitment kept people from developing drinking problems. Without
a single exception, 16 studies on suicide indicated that a religious person is significantly
less like to take his or her own life" (Christopher Hall).
Even though not all will accept it, such research that affirms the benefits of following
God's instructions should surprise no one. Living God's way enhances one's life.
Almost 2,000 years ago Jesus Christ said, "I have come that they may have life, and
that they may have it more abundantly" (John 10:10). Later the apostle Paul noted
that "godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now
is and of that which is to come" (1Timothy 4:8).
Perhaps King David summarized it best: "As for God, His way is perfect; the word
of the Lord is proven" (2 Samuel 22:31).
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