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Getting to Know Guys

Take time for friendship before committing to a relationship.

by Melody Schmidt

Take a look around the dating scene. Notice the confusion of shallow relationships and unnecessary heartbreak. Even those who maintain a long-term boyfriend often experience frustration and pain. Chances are high that you’ve been hurt at least once if you’ve spent time in this ­dizzying practice.

Every day we girls are faced with a great deal of pressure. We are made to feel as though there is something wrong with us if we aren’t in a relationship. When combined with our strong natural desire to love and to be loved, we can quickly find ourselves jumping into relationships, not because we want to be with a specific person but simply because we do not want to be alone.

Getting to Know Guys

God created us with an intense longing for relationships because He wants us to have a close, personal relationship with Him. We are to be so close with Him that we become one, sharing the same goals and purpose. He also created in us the desire for a connection with others, for a family and for marriage. Within the guidelines of His law, these physical interactions can be some of the greatest blessings on earth.

God does not want our relationships to be filled with pain and regret. But this can happen when we put our own short-term physical desires before God. Instead, the instructions provided in the Bible teach us how to have the happiest and most fulfilling relationships possible.

Men and women were created with unique aptitudes that complement one another. Women tend to bond easily and then remain loyal, even when there are signs of trouble. Ladies, it is extremely important that you take your time and choose carefully before you let your heart get attached to a guy. As soon as you become a couple, you will become more concerned about preserving the relationship than about choosing the right kind of guy. This means a much greater chance for hurt later on.

Many guys can put on a good show when trying to impress a girl they are interested in. If you don’t take time to see his true qualities and concerns, you might find yourself deeply disappointed when the real guy emerges. In other cases, you may simply not be compatible with him. No matter the reason, if a relationship to which you’ve committed your heart too early falls apart, it’s impossible to get out unscathed.

The Song of Solomon is a beautiful and passionate love story that displays the beauty of love when we follow the advice “not to awaken love until the time is right” (2:7, New Living Translation).

Rather than rushing into a relationship, invest your time and energy into getting to know guys without getting serious. By being patient, enjoying the benefits of being friends first and trusting God, you’ll reap blessings in ways you can’t imagine. VT

About the Author
Melody Schmidt, a recent Ambassador Bible Center graduate, works as a microbiologist at a company based in Cincinnati, Ohio and attends the Cincinnati North congregation of the United Church of God. Comments or Questions
If you have any comments about this article or vertical-thinking questions we can help you answer please send them to info@verticalthought.org.



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Other Articles by Melody Schmidt
Origin of article "Getting to Know Guys"
Keywords: friendship opposite sex friendship relationships 

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Teens and dating: Friendship: Key Subjects Index
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