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I Couldn't Help But Notice

article by Katherine Rowland

When it comes to relationships, if our focus is on style over substance, aren't we really missing what's important?


Source: Lorelei Nettles

I don’t remember what you wore last weekend. Was it knee-length? Longer? Shorter? I’m not sure. It might have had short sleeves, or spaghetti straps. I honestly can’t recall.

I don’t know whether you loaded your potluck plate with brownies and meatballs or just ate salad (I was busy juggling a toddler and a plate containing salsa).

It’s possible you’ve lost weight. You might have gained weight. In fact, come to think of it, I couldn’t reliably guess what you weigh (I’d make a lousy courtroom witness).

Here’s the thing. I didn’t have time to notice all those things.

See, I was busy noticing that you arrived for Sabbath services in plenty of time to fellowship beforehand-not rushing in at the last minute with your coffee in hand, scouring the room for a seat before the hymns began.

I noticed that you sang the hymns with gusto, as though it were you and God alone instead of a congregation.

I noticed how engaged you were by the sermon. You were “listening with your eyes,” and nodding thoughtfully. Your notebook was full of notes and scriptural references, and I couldn’t help peeking at your Bible, with its underlines and notes to yourself in the margin.

Oh, and you might have been the girl I saw holding someone’s toddler during the service while her husband served on the sound crew. What a blessing for that mother to have an extra pair of hands!

But then, after services I was watching how you waited to go through the potluck line until almost everyone else in church had gone through. Or maybe I was distracted by your hurrying to refill the napkin dispenser instead of waiting for someone else to do it. I was busy admiring that you knew your way around the kitchen…you obviously have spent some time working in there.

Of course, I didn’t miss that you mingled with everyone…you spent time with friends in your age group, but I also noticed you in conversation with everyone, from the kindergartener who told you about his trains to the oldest member of our congregation. I have to confess that I eavesdropped just a little, and I heard you talking about the sermon, and mentioning how it really fit well with what you’d been reading that week and this other message you had heard online by a different pastor.

I’m sorry I didn’t notice your dress. I’ll confess: I was too busy watching who you are. And to tell the truth, I was also making the mental note that I could improve in a few of the areas where you already excel. I have no idea what you wore or how you styled your hair, because the only thing that stood out was your character. And it is beautiful.

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